You Could Have Said Yes- But You Didn't.

Navigating Change Through The Power of No.

By: Khalei Suol

There is much power in our words and even more importantly in our words of agreement. Legally speaking words are so powerful that you can enter a verbal contract by simply opening your mouth.

When we gauge this truth through the lens of life, addiction, generational curses, and trauma cycles; it is easy to see that all of these things are allowed to continue simply because someone said yes.

I am sure that most of us have heard the saying “Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” this saying has scriptural roots which can be found in Matthew 5:37. Whatever your beliefs this passage holds true. What you confirm with a “yes” will come to pass in your life and possibly the lives of the generations you create after. There is great power in a firm “No”. No closes doors for addiction, trauma, cycles, and discontinues curses.

For example, if an individual has had a prior addiction to cocaine that means that they said yes to doing the drug at some point in their life. Yet, what makes someone a prior addict is that they made the decision to say no repeatedly, in turn, shifting the trajectory of their life.

Likewise, if you come from a broken home where most, if not all, children were born outside of marriage this may have been normalized in your mind, making it familiar to you. However, if you make the decision to say no to the creation of life before marriage you have already broken the cycle.

Currently there is much conversation on the generational pass down of trauma and what people are doing to break it. Yet, in some aspects we have made this process very complex.

The fact is, when you decide to break a cycle, you close the door of "Yes" by saying "No". Think about your life as it currently is, what are some things your younger self said yes to that your current self would give a firm -No.

For anyone currently fighting to dismantle the cycles of your past, break negative family viewpoints, end an addiction, and become a new version of yourself; start with No.

Whatever your No is and whatever area you are applying it to, let it be firm. Build up a consistent No in that area so that you can have a track record of the battles you’ve won. More importantly do not think about the times you said yes. Similar to when our phones update we should no longer be concerned with the old version of ourselves.

In closing, in the times where you feel weak, remember that there were times You Could Have Said Yes -But You didn’t.